What His Grampa Might Have Said
"Rules for Living"
- Every path has some puddles.
- You can't unsay a cruel thing.
- Meanness don't happen overnight.
- Don't sell your mule to buy a plow.
- Lazy and Quarrelsome are ugly sisters.
- Don't skinny dip with snapping turtles.
- Never corner something meaner than you.
- The best sermons are lived, not preached.
- Two can live as cheap as one if one don't eat.
- When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
- Don't name a pig, goat or steer you plan to eat.
- Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps.
- A bumblebee is faster than a John Deere tractor.
- Don't go huntin' with a fellow named Chug-A-Lug.
- Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.
- It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
- Mortgaging a future crop is saddling a wobbly colt.
- Keep skunks, bucks in rut and bankers at a distance.
- Most of the stuff people worry about happening, don't.
- Trouble with a milk goat is that she won't stay milked.
- Teachers, bankers, and hoot owls sleep with one eye open.
- Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.
- Never lay an angry hand on a kid or an animal, it just ain't helpful.
- To know how country folks are doing, look at their barns, not their houses.
- Country fences need to be horse high, pig tight, bull strong and waterproof (for goats).
- Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.
Some alternative rules to live by that might get you thinking and laughing in other directions . . .